Endo Warrior

My name is Zehra*, I am fifteen years old, and I’ve been fighting endometriosis for five years.

From my very first period, I encountered an abnormal amount of pain. My peers appeared completely normal when they experienced theirs, still going out to hang with friends, attending school, and surrounding themselves with other individuals. I, on the other hand would be in bed, suffering for one to two weeks on end. ‘They’re just some bad period cramps’, they said. These few simple words caused me to gaslight myself to an awful degree. I knew my pain was not normal, I knew what I felt was different but as soon as I had passed that painful cycle, I began to second guess all that I’d felt. Was it really that extreme, was I being dramatic, was I overreacting?  Am I insane?

For the past five years I've been feeling this way, experiencing the same painful and frustrating symptoms each month. Doctors constantly told me that what I felt was normal. ‘Most women experience cramping when on their periods’, is what I was told, but really? To this extent? I eventually visited my GP and gynaecologist, and I was prescribed the pill. I was eager to finally start skipping my periods and put a stop to the excruciating pain. Unfortunately, after three months of taking the pill, I began to have breakthrough bleeding and my flare-ups became significantly more severe each month.

As my periods were becoming more extreme, my social life, school life, and hobbies became affected. I started to get called ‘a bludge’ for missing a good two weeks of school each month but people failed to see what was going on behind closed doors.  I lost connection with some of my friends for being absent, my attendance rate dropped fundamentally, and I had to withdraw from competitive cheerleading. When I was at school, I would lie on the library floor with a heat pack, take my painkillers, and curl up and hide from everyone. The pain I experience has consistently been covered by a big, bright smile. Nobody would guess the level of the pain I feel. It wasn’t until my period pain became much more extreme that I began to speak up, acknowledge the pain and minimise the gaslighting. I started to realise that what I was experiencing was not just a ‘bad period week’ -- it was something much more. The feeling of my uterus being torn out a million times over is not normal.

After these dreadful years of suffering, both my mother and I heard the word ‘endometriosis’ for the very first time from our GP. We had no prior knowledge of this illness whatsoever, so we did a lot of research after this appointment. I discovered that this illness lives in one in ten women which was incredibly shocking as I was so unaware of this illness. It resulted in getting a referral to see a gynaecologist and a few months later, finally a laparoscopy! My journey with endometriosis has been incredibly intense yet I am relieved to have a diagnosis and know that what I have is real. I am proud to say that I am truly an endo warrior!

*name changed to protect identity